Facedating

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6 views · Added 17d ago · 4 definitions

When you yell at someone on Facebook and date them just because you’re too lazy to talk to them in real life.

I’ve been messaging this guy for months and still don’t know his real name.

She only talks to me through Facebook because she’s scared of my face.

He proposed through a Facebook message. I haven’t seen him since.

A fake person who fakes a smile and plans to stab you when your back is turned.

She said she’d help me move. Now I’m stuck with her and her knives.

He smiled at me at work. Now I know why my back hurts.

My best friend is a facedater. I should’ve known when she said she’d never betray me.

When you’re so drunk you think you’re a superhero and your pants are on fire.

I drank 12 beers and tried to fly off the roof. Didn’t work.

I woke up in a taco shop. I think I married the owner.

I told my mom I was going to Mars. She said I was going to the ER.

When you drink so much you end up in the hospital or you’re so wasted you can’t remember your own name.

I drank until I passed out. Now I have a tattoo of a beer can on my leg.

I woke up in a stranger’s house with a hangover so bad I cried.

I drank so much I forgot my own birthday. Again.