Facebookortunity

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A moment so good it makes you want to scream into a mirror and post it for everyone to see.

I just ate three pizzas and my pants are on fire. #Facebookortunity

My dog just stole my mom's phone and sent a nude photo to my dad. #Facebookortunity

I failed my math test but got a perfect score on the swear test. #Facebookortunity

When life gives you a moment so epic you have to brag about it like you won the lottery and your grandma’s ghost is cheering you on.

I just got a tattoo of my ex’s face and my mom’s name. #Facebookortunity

I ate a whole cake in one bite and my face looks like a clown. #Facebookortunity

I got a promotion and my boss gave me a goldfish. #Facebookortunity

A situation so dumb or so awesome it’s worth posting just to make your enemies cry and your friends laugh.

I tried to cook and now my apartment smells like burnt hair and regret. #Facebookortunity

I got into a fight with a mailbox and won. #Facebookortunity

My cat just asked me for a raise. #Facebookortunity

When something happens that’s so good you want to yell it from the rooftop and tag every person who ever made your life a nightmare.

I just passed my math test and my dog failed his. #Facebookortunity

I got a free pizza and my mom got a free lecture. #Facebookortunity

I turned my bedroom into a shrine and my dad turned it into a prison. #Facebookortunity

When something happens so wild you feel like you need to post it just to prove you’re not crazy and your friends are.

I just got kicked out of my house for eating too much ice cream. #Facebookortunity

I tried to talk to my plants and they replied. #Facebookortunity

I turned my homework into a rap battle and lost. #Facebookortunity