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#morning-ritual #face-melting #rage-quit

4 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

The annoying habit of starting and ending your day by slamming your face into Facebook to see if anyone said anything stupid or gave you a message that wasn't worth your time.

I checked Facebook at 6 a. m. and my ex posted a selfie with a donut. I cried.

I ended my day by seeing my mom's status: 'I'm eating pizza and it's 10 p. m.' I rage-quit.

I opened Facebook at 11 p. m. and my coworker said 'Good job today' in a comment. I laughed so hard I choked on my soda.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

When you log on to Facebook first thing in the morning and last thing at night just to see if your life is still worth living.

I logged on at 7 a. m. and saw my ex's ex's ex's post. I wanted to die.

I checked Facebook at 11 p. m. and my dog had 100 likes. I felt like a failure.

I opened Facebook at midnight and my uncle posted a video of him eating a whole chicken. I laughed until I cried.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

The brutal daily habit of opening Facebook first thing and last thing just to see if anyone gave a damn about you or if your life is completely useless.

I checked Facebook at 6 a. m. and saw my ex's new status: 'I'm happy and you're not.' I threw my phone out the window.

I ended my day by seeing my cousin's post: 'I ate 12 tacos.' I said, 'That's not even a real number.'

I opened Facebook at 11 p. m. and my mom said, 'I love you.' I cried and said, 'I love you too, Mom.'

by Slangipedia 13d ago

When you start and finish your day by staring at Facebook like it's the last thing you'll ever see, hoping it will tell you something important or at least something funny.

I checked Facebook at 7 a. m. and my ex said, 'I miss you.' I said, 'I miss you too, but I'm also mad.'

I ended my day by seeing my dad's post: 'I ate a whole cake.' I said, 'You're a monster.'

I opened Facebook at 10 p. m. and my friend said, 'You're the best.' I said, 'Thank you, now go to sleep.'

by Slangipedia 13d ago

The daily torture of opening Facebook first thing in the morning and last thing at night just to see if your life is a disaster or just really weird.

I checked Facebook at 6 a. m. and saw my ex's new status: 'I'm happy, you're not.' I threw my phone at the wall.

I ended my day by seeing my uncle's post: 'I ate a whole cow.' I said, 'That's not even a real thing.'

I opened Facebook at 11 p. m. and my mom said, 'I love you.' I cried and said, 'I love you too, Mom.'

by Slangipedia 13d ago

The daily habit of opening Facebook first thing and last thing just to see if someone said something stupid or gave you a message that was actually worth your time.

I checked Facebook at 7 a. m. and saw my ex's new post: 'I'm happy, you're not.' I wanted to die.

I ended my day by seeing my cousin's post: 'I ate 10 tacos.' I said, 'That's not even real.'

I opened Facebook at 10 p. m. and my friend said, 'You're the best.' I said, 'Thank you, now go to sleep.'

by Slangipedia 13d ago