facebook weaving

1 views · Added 4d ago · 3 definitions

Driving like a drunk flamingo because you're too busy posting selfies and tagging your ex on Facebook; it's like texting while driving, but with more drama and fewer brain cells.

I just posted this photo of my breakfast and my ex liked it. Now I'm driving like I'm in a car crash.

I tried to post a story while merging onto the highway. The car in front of me didn't like my filter choices.

My mom called me and I didn't answer because I was trying to tag my dog in a photo and my phone fell out of my hand.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

You're so distracted by Facebook that you think your car is a smartphone; you're driving like you're scrolling through your ex's timeline while also trying to eat a sandwich.

I was eating a sandwich and posting a status at the same time. The sandwich won.

I tried to post a photo of my sandwich and my ex showed up in the parking lot. I swerved into a fire hydrant.

I was so busy liking my friend's post that I didn't see the stop sign. I got a ticket and a like.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

You're so deep in Facebook that your car is just a background in your story; you're driving like you're live-streaming your life and everyone can see your dumb choices.

I was live-streaming my drive to work and my dog walked in front of the car. I got 12 likes and 3 comments that said 'why?'.

I posted a story about my morning commute and my boss saw it. He gave me a warning and a thumbs-up.

I was trying to post a story while driving and I crashed into a mailbox. The mailbox got 10 likes.

by Slangipedia 4d ago