facebook stalk - Facebook stalking is like real-life stalking but with less s

Facebook stalking is like real-life stalking but with less screaming and more pictures of dogs wearing hats.

I’ve been stalking my crush’s profile so much I know he has a dog named Max. I’m impressed.

I stalk my ex on Facebook so much I know his dog’s favorite toy. I’m a menace.

I stalk my friend’s profile so much I know she eats cereal for dinner. I’m weird.