I checked my crush’s page 10 times in a row. He’s got a new haircut and a new Instagram. I’m going to ask him out, or I’m going to cry.

I looked up my coworker’s page just to see if she had a new cat. She did. I’m going to hate her forever.

I checked my ex’s page again. She’s got a new job and a new smile. I’m going to die of jealousy.