Facebook Rebound
You start with a Facebook and only friend a few people. Then you go full retard and friend everyone. You later realize you're friends with people who don't even know your name and you start deleting them like they're your ex.
I friend my barista. She said I’m the weirdest customer.
I friend my cousin’s pet goldfish. It has 27 followers.
I friend my uncle. He still thinks I’m 12.