facebook life

2 views · Added 3d ago · 5 definitions

When you live for likes and comments, thinking your whole life is a highlight reel for people who don’t even know you.

DM: ‘Why isn’t my post getting 10,000 likes? I’m basically famous!’

Status: ‘Going to the grocery store. It’s like I’m at a red carpet event.’

Comment: ‘Why did I post that? I’m 42 and I look like a 12-year-old in a prom dress.’

Old people who got Facebook just to act young, post stupid pics, and tag everyone like they’re still in high school.

Status: ‘Tagging my ex. We’re still on. I’m still on.’

Comment: ‘I’m 50 and I’m still trying to look like I’m 20. It’s a struggle.’

DM: ‘Why is everyone else’s life so perfect? I just got a divorce and a cold.’

When you log on to Facebook and suddenly think your life is a total disaster because your old high school friends are all rich and perfect.

Status: ‘Why is my old crush still hot and I’m not? I’m 45 and I have a belly.’

DM: ‘I just set up a drum set in my basement. I’m going to be famous again.’

Comment: ‘I’m back in college, but I’m not even in college anymore.’

People who comment on everything, even if it’s about the weather, and think they’re in a movie.

Comment: ‘Why did you post that? It’s just a picture of a sandwich. It’s just a sandwich.’

Status: ‘I comment on every post. I’m like the king of Facebook.’

DM: ‘I’m Grant. I comment on everything. You know who I am.’

When you’re so deep in Facebook that you forget how to live your real life.

Status: ‘I don’t know how to talk to people anymore. I just type.’

DM: ‘I haven’t left my house in a week. I’m just commenting on posts.’

Comment: ‘I’m so addicted to Facebook I forgot my own name.’