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2 views · Added 4d ago · 7 definitions

1
When you and your friends are having a good time and something awesome happens, you take a picture like it’s the last day on Earth and you have to post it on Facebook right then or you’ll die.
You’re at the mall and you see a guy fall into a fountain. You take a picture and post it on Facebook before the guy even gets out.
You’re at the park and a squirrel steals your hot dog. You take a picture and post it on Facebook like it’s a big deal.
You’re at the gas station and you see a kid try to eat a whole pizza. You take a picture and post it on Facebook like you’re famous.
2
Looking someone up on Facebook is like going to a library and asking the librarian to find a book about someone’s life. But instead of a book, you get a whole biography of their stupidest moments.
You look up your ex on Facebook and see they posted a picture of their pet goldfish wearing sunglasses.
You look up your uncle on Facebook and find out he has 47 followers and 2000 friends.
You look up your neighbor on Facebook and find out they’re a professional cheese-eater.
3
To Facebook it means you take a picture or video and you think it’s the best thing ever and you have to share it with everyone who has a phone.
You take a picture of your breakfast and post it on Facebook like it’s a masterpiece.
You take a video of your dog doing a backflip and post it on Facebook like it’s the Olympics.
You take a picture of your crush and post it on Facebook like they’re going to reply.
4
Facebook is a secret tool made by the CIA to spy on dumb people who work 80 hours a week and still have time to care about what their friends are doing on their phones.
Your boss is on Facebook and he posts a picture of his pet iguana wearing a tie.
Your teacher is on Facebook and she posts a video of her singing show tunes.
Your mom is on Facebook and she posts a picture of her cat wearing a crown.
5
Facebook is like a school where they make you do stupid rules just to keep you from leaving and they give you bad grades for no reason.
Your new account gets disabled because Facebook says you ‘didn’t follow the community guidelines.’
You try to fix your account by doing what they tell you, but it still gets disabled.
You post one picture and your account gets banned for no reason.
6
Facebook is like a diary that everyone can read, and you’re the dumbest kid who writes every single detail of your life so that people who barely know you can laugh at you.
You post your lunch on Facebook and your mom comments on it like she’s your best friend.
You post your bad hair day on Facebook and your crush likes it.
You post your entire life on Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg gets rich off of it.
7
Facebook is like a dream for people who like to watch others’ lives and think they’re better at everything.
You stalk your ex on Facebook and they post a picture of their new boyfriend.
You stalk your crush on Facebook and they post a video of them eating pizza.
You stalk your neighbor on Facebook and they post a picture of their dog wearing a hat.
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