facebook felon

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3 views · Added 3d ago · 8 definitions

A Facebook felon is a person who shows up everywhere on Facebook. They comment on everything. They're like a cockroach at a picnic.

@jimmy22 just commented on my grandma's post about her cat. I don't even know who that is.

I got a message from my third cousin who I haven't spoken to since 2007. It was about a meme.

My mom commented on my ex's new haircut. He's not even on Facebook.

by Slangipedia 3d ago

A Facebook felon posts gross stuff and inappropriate pictures. They’re like a kid who eats pizza crusts for breakfast and posts it online.

My uncle posted a picture of his dog wearing a crown. It looked like it was about to start a war.

My cousin sent me a message saying my brother was cheating on my sister. He had zero proof.

My grandma posted a picture of her lunch and said it was 'the best thing since sliced bread.' It was a sandwich.

by Slangipedia 3d ago

A Facebook felon talks about Facebook non-stop. They live in the cloud and forgot how to breathe.

My aunt said, 'I can’t even go to the grocery store without checking Facebook.'

My cousin called me at 2 a. m. to tell me about a post from his friend’s dog.

My grandpa said, 'Facebook is my life. I don’t need anything else.'

by Slangipedia 3d ago

A Facebook felon clicks ‘like’ on every post. They’re like a kid who loves stickers and can’t stop sticking them everywhere.

My mom liked my cousin's post about his new beard. It was a Tuesday.

My uncle liked my grandpa's post about his cat. It was the same cat from 2015.

My sister liked my brother's post about his headache. He didn’t even know she was on Facebook.

by Slangipedia 3d ago

A Facebook felon starts chats whenever your chat is online. They’re like a mosquito that only bites you when you’re already tired.

My cousin messaged me at 11 p. m. to ask what my dog was doing.

My aunt sent me a message saying, 'I saw your post and now I must talk to you.'

My uncle started a chat when my mom was in the middle of a Zoom call.

by Slangipedia 3d ago

A Facebook felon has nothing better to do than stay on Facebook. They live in a house made of likes and comments.

My cousin spends 10 hours on Facebook every day. He claims it’s a hobby.

My aunt said she got a new job: 'Facebook Analyst.' It’s just checking posts.

My uncle said he can’t leave Facebook because it’s his only friend.

by Slangipedia 3d ago

A Facebook felon is an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or weird old classmate who stays in your business on Facebook. They live in your life and never leave.

My grandma commented on my post about my breakup. She said, 'That’s not how it ends.'

My uncle sent me a message about my brother's job. He had no idea what my brother did.

My cousin posted a picture of my dog and said, 'He looks like he’s mad at you.' He wasn’t.

by Slangipedia 3d ago

Any act by a Facebook felon is a Facebook felony. A Facebook felony can be done by anyone. Even you, if you post something dumb.

My mom said, 'Even I can commit a Facebook felony.' She posted a picture of her lunch and called it 'art.'

My uncle said, 'I don’t need to be a felon. I just need to be a little bit bad.'

My cousin said, 'I think I just committed a Facebook felony. I liked my dog’s post.'

by Slangipedia 3d ago