Facebook Dick Rider
A Facebook Dick Rider is the person who comments on your posts like they're your personal Facebook therapist and never lets you have a moment of peace.
You posted a status about your day. I had to comment on it because I'm your therapist now.
You confirmed my friend request. Now I have to talk to you like we're old friends.
You posted a photo of your dinner. I had to comment on it like it was the most important thing in the world.