Facebook Coma
A person who lives on Facebook so much that they ignore their job, their family, and their own sanity. They only know how to talk to people through likes and comments.
My mom hasn't left her house in 3 weeks. She's been messaging her high school crush non-stop. She's like a ghost in a group chat.
I tried to talk to my brother, but he said, 'I'll respond in 10 minutes, I'm fighting with my mom on Facebook.'
My dad got fired because he spent the whole meeting looking at Facebook. He said, 'It was a status update war.'