facebate

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#porn#crush#facebate

2 views · Added 4d ago · 7 definitions

1
When you use Facebook to jerk off to your friends’ photos and videos like they’re your own personal porn channel
I saw my ex’s new profile pic and my pants were on fire.
My cousin posted a video of her doing yoga and I had to go to the bathroom immediately.
I looked at my crush’s face and I literally had a facebate attack.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
2
When you’re so drained you literally fall face first into the bed and pass out like a dead animal
After my mom yelled at me for 2 hours, I facebated into my bed and didn’t wake up for 3 days.
I studied for the SATs for 8 hours and my face hit the bed like a brick.
After my dog ate my homework, I facebated and dreamed about math.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
3
When you waste your life scrolling through Facebook for no reason just to keep your fingers busy like they’re your only friends
I opened Facebook and didn’t close it for 12 hours. My fingers are now married to the phone.
I checked Facebook 17 times during lunch and my brain is now Facebook.
I had 5 minutes before my mom yelled and I spent it on Facebook.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
4
That girl in high school who lives on Facebook. She updates her status like it’s a job and has more pictures than the entire history of mankind. If she gets over 1000 comments, she’s a god. People pray to her.
My friend has 1,234 comments on her status and now she thinks she’s God.
That girl posted 300 pictures today and I’m tired just looking at them.
She’s a facebible and I worship her like she’s the Queen of Facebook.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
5
When a guy is so desperate for a girl he jacks off to her Facebook pics like it’s a holy ritual
I saw my crush’s face and I got a hard-on so fast I nearly exploded.
He saw her new profile picture and his pants were on fire.
He facebated so much he forgot to eat and now he’s a ghost.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
6
When you use Facebook pictures to jerk off like it’s a part-time job and your life is a series of blurry photos and sad comments
I looked at my ex’s new photo and I got a facebate attack so hard I screamed.
I saw my friend’s vacation picture and I had to go to the bathroom immediately.
I facebated so much I got a Facebook tattoo.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
7
When you drink beer and use FaceTime to talk to your friend like you’re in a bar and not in your bedroom at 2 AM
I had a beer and FaceTimed my friend like we were in a bar.
I drank three beers and FaceTimed my best friend like it was a party.
I had a beer and FaceTimed my crush and now I’m drunk and in love.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
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