face jam
When someone looks like they have jam smeared all over their face, it's because they slathered vaseline on their face and then slathered jam on top of that like they were trying to become a human jelly sandwich.
He had jam all over his face and looked like he had a facepalm and a facejam at the same time.
After the Face Jam, I looked like I had been in a fight with a fruit roll-up.
She Face Jammed me and now she looks like a human smoothie.