Face Harness

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3 views · Added 14d ago · 3 definitions

A smelly strap-on dildo that you put on your face. It’s like wearing a sweaty sock made of cum and regret. People in LA took one look at it and screamed into their phones like they were at a horror movie premiere.

My cousin got a Face Harness and texted me a picture of it with the caption 'This is why I hate LA.'

My brother got one and sent me a DM that said, 'I look like a confused raccoon.'

My friend got a Face Harness and posted it on Twitter with the caption 'This is what happens when you buy sex toys at the Virgin store.'

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A dildo strap that goes on your face like a bad haircut. It’s so gross, people in LA took pictures of it and sent them to their friends like it was a death threat.

My mom got a Face Harness and texted me, 'I look like a prisoner.'

My friend got one and posted it on Instagram with the caption, 'I feel like a rejected pizza topping.'

My brother got a Face Harness and sent me a DM that said, 'I look like a man who just ate a sock.'

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A strap-on dildo that goes on your face like a cursed gift. People in LA took pictures of it and sent them to their friends like it was a holy message from the god of shame.

My sister got a Face Harness and texted me, 'I feel like a cursed chicken.'

My dad got one and sent me a DM that said, 'I look like a man who just fell into a meat grinder.'

My friend got a Face Harness and posted it on TikTok with the caption, 'This is what happens when you buy a Chindo.'

by Slangipedia 14d ago