fabophilia

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When you're so in love with being fancy that you'd rather die than be caught with a sock on your foot instead of a designer shoe.

'I'd rather sip champagne from a gold chalice than eat a burger at a gas station.'

'He's got a yacht, a French accent, and a passport with 12 stamps. I'm obsessed.'

'I threw a party and no one showed up. But I still wore a hat.'

You think anything that isn't perfectly styled, perfectly spoken, and perfectly located in Europe is trash.

'That knock-off bag? I'd rather burn it than wear it.'

'I walked past a McDonald's like it was a crime.'

'He said 'hello' in a monotone voice. I ran away.'

You get a hard-on for anything that smells like expensive perfume and sounds like it was made in a fancy kitchen.

'I had to cancel my flight to Paris because I got distracted by a cheese plate.'

'He wore a suit, had a wine glass, and I melted like butter on toast.'

'I dated a guy who worked at a hotel. That's all I needed to be happy.'

You'd rather be buried in a coffin made of velvet than be seen with a fast-food bag.

'I threw out my pizza because it didn’t have a side of wine.'

'I dated a guy who had a passport. That's all I needed.'

'I walked past a Burger King and cried like a baby.'

You think your life is complete if you’ve ever been on a catamaran and can name all the types of wine.

'I took a photo of my cheese plate and posted it on Instagram like it was the Mona Lisa.'

'I got into a fight over whether Pinot Noir is better than Chardonnay.'

'I had to cancel my meeting to go to a wine tasting.'

You think anyone who doesn’t know the difference between a catamaran and a yacht is a total loser.

'I called my mom and she said 'What's a catamaran?' I hung up and cried.'

'He asked me if I knew what a yacht was. I said 'No. But I know what a good wine is.'

'I dated a guy who said 'yacht' like it was a curse.'