fabfuckingdiculous

My boss wore a chicken suit to work and yelled at the printer like it was a rival company.

My dog won a spelling bee by accident and now he thinks he's a genius.

My mom tried to text me while driving and crashed into a mailbox.

I got fired for eating the office donut and arguing with the coffee machine.

My friend’s pet goldfish won a talent show by blinking.

I texted my ex and got a reply from his mom.

My teacher gave a pop quiz on the moon landing and I failed because I thought it was a joke.

My cat started a TikTok and now it’s famous.

I tried to explain my day to my brother and he cried.

My dad started a band called ‘The Socks’ and they played at the mall.

My math teacher turned into a wizard during a test.

I got a ticket for parking in a fire hydrant.

My neighbor started a lawsuit over the color of my socks.

My dog started talking and now he’s a politician.

I got a detention for drawing a mustache on the principal.