ebay queen

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1
A woman or a fag who would rather pee in a shoe than pay full price for something. They hunt eBay like it’s a treasure map full of cheap stuff and insults.
I’d rather buy a used sock from a guy who smells like old pizza than pay $10 for a new one.
That shirt was $20 at the store. I found it for $3 on eBay. I feel like I won the lottery.
I bought a lamp from someone’s garage sale. It’s got a dent. I don’t care. I saved $15.
2
A person who would rather get kicked in the nuts than spend a dime on something new. They live for eBay and hate retail like it’s their ex.
I spent $2 on a used book. The original price was $12. I feel rich.
I bought a used TV from a guy who said it was ‘practically new.’ It’s not. But I saved $50.
I bought a pair of shoes that had a hole in them. I don’t care. I saved $20.
3
A person who would rather eat a shoe than pay retail. They dig through eBay like it’s a gold mine and laugh at people who buy stuff new.
I bought a used bike for $10. The original price was $100. I feel like a king.
I found a watch for $5 on eBay. The store wanted $50. I’m a genius.
I bought a used phone. It had a cracked screen. I don’t care. I saved $40.
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