Easub
The most unhinged man on Earth. One second he's screaming at you like you wronged his grandma, the next he's giving you free pizza and a hug. Don't ever let him catch you sleeping.
He yelled at me for 20 minutes because I spilled coffee on his shoes. Then he bought me a latte and said I was 'a work of art.'
He came into my room at 3 AM to tell me I was 'the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.' I was confused and tired.
He texted me a 10-minute rant about my hair, then sent a meme of a cat wearing sunglasses.