easty-westies

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Chips that hang out sideways like a lazy man’s jello, not pointing forward like they’re trying.

My cousin’s easty-westies look like they got hit by a bus and then forgot to wake up.

I asked my mom if I had easty-westies, and she said, 'You look like a guy who just gave up on life.'

My crush’s easty-westies are so bad, they make my math test look easy.

Boobs that swing like a drunkard’s arms, not aiming anywhere near the front.

My easty-westies look like they’re doing the cha-cha and don’t care about the crowd.

My teacher said I had easty-westies so bad, I should’ve been in the gym, not the classroom.

My easty-westies are so sideways, I think they’re trying to escape my body.

Breasts that hang out like a sloth on a Saturday, not even trying to be fancy.

My easty-westies are like my brain on a Monday: just there, not doing much.

I told my friend I had easty-westies, and she said, 'You look like you lost a bet and got punished.'

My easty-westies are so bad, I think they’re planning a vacation without me.