easter pumpkin - a time when your brain is so fried you can’t tell your left

a time when your brain is so fried you can’t tell your left foot from your right eye and you’re still trying to finish your cereal.

I woke up after the party and thought I was still at the restaurant. Turns out I was in my mom’s basement with a sock on my head.

My kid said, ‘Dad, why are you wearing my pants?’ I said, ‘Why are you wearing my socks?’ And we both cried.

My mom called me an Easter Pumpkin because I tried to cook, text, and juggle at the same time. I burned the pizza and my phone exploded.