East Petersburg
A tiny backwater dump stuck between two places that don't know they're famous, filled with car dealers who sell you a lemon and call it a gift, and people who think a squirrel high is a real thing. It's the kind of town where your kid either becomes a boring adult or a meth-head who fights squirrels.
My cousin moved there and now thinks squirrels are his spiritual guides.
The car dealer told me my car was 'like new'... it wasn't.
My mom got a squirrel high and now thinks the moon is made of pizza.
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