"You’re East New Bumfuck? I’ve had better days than your whole week!", Text from your brother who still lives in your mom’s basement.

"You’re East New Bumfuck? I could beat you in a spelling bee and still win!", DM from your English teacher who hates your grammar.

"You’re East New Bumfuck? I’ve had better dreams than your whole life!", Tweet from a guy who still thinks he’s a rockstar.