east dean
A tiny village near Eastbourne where the neighbors are so lazy and loud they could start a war over a missing sandwich. The place is decent, but the gossip is enough to make you want to move to Antarctica.
My neighbor told me my dog pooped on her lawn. I told her my dog's name is Steve. She still talks about it.
The pub is okay, but the barmaid has a face like a potato. I've seen more attractive potatoes.
I live here now, and I don't know if I've escaped the village or just moved to a different version of it.