East Alton
East Alton is a dump in Illinois that smells like old pizza. The people there think they’re cool, but they only beat the Shells, which is basically the sports team of a bunch of losers.
Our team beat the Shells, and we celebrated by hitting a guy with a humdinger.
The Shells lost to us, and they got mad and started crying.
We beat the Shells again, and now we’re the best team in the league... probably.