earth-shattering
Something so shocking it makes your brain fart and your feet leave the floor. Like when your mom texts you at 2 a. m. with a video of your dog wearing a unicorn hat.
My math test score was a 2. I cried so hard my tears flooded the school.
My dad told me I was adopted. I fell off the couch.
I saw my crush wearing my underwear as a hat. My heart exploded.