Earth Sandwich Theory - This theory says the Earth is just a giant sandwich, and if

This theory says the Earth is just a giant sandwich, and if two pieces of bread are on the ground, it’s officially open for business.

I stepped on bread. The Earth is now a sandwich. I’m a sandwich god.

My dog ate bread. The Earth is a sandwich. I’m proud.

I dropped a bagel on the ground. The Earth is a sandwich. I’m done.