earsex
An earsex is a guy so good-looking, he could probably get away with stealing your lunch money. An earfart is just average. A dogfart is like your uncle after he eats three hot dogs.
My crush is an earsex. I’ve been staring at him since third grade.
My brother is an earfart. He thinks he’s a rockstar.
My neighbor is a dogfart. He eats cereal at 2 a. m.