Earphone deafness
When your earphones are so loud they could wake the dead, you think you’re the only one in the universe. But you’re just a loud, arrogant, smelly human being who thinks the world revolves around them.
I burped like I was auditioning for a voice-over job. Only I heard it. I got the job.
I farted during a Zoom call. I didn’t realize I did it until my boss asked me if I was okay.
I yawned so hard it looked like I was doing a yoga stretch. My ears didn’t even blink.