Earned my Hamm's

After getting yelled at by my boss for forgetting to clock in, I opened a Hamm’s and laughed at the mess I made.

My coworker said I earned my Hamm’s after I threw my coffee at the printer.

I drank a Hamm’s at 3 a. m. because my dog ate my homework and I failed my math test.

I earned my Hamm’s after my car broke down on the highway and I had to walk 10 miles home.

My sister earned her Hamm’s when she got fired for wearing pajamas to work.

I earned my Hamm’s after I cried in the bathroom during lunch.

I earned my Hamm’s after my dog chewed up my laptop and I had to finish my project on a phone.

My friend earned his Hamm’s when he got stuck in an elevator for 4 hours.

I earned my Hamm’s after I got a ticket for driving 90 in a 35.