Earland

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Earland is when you lose your cherry in a fast, messy shag behind a supermarket or in a fancy store like Waitrose if you want to look fancy.

I got my virginity taken behind Tesco at 1 a. m. and it was the worst thing ever.

I shagged my ex behind Waitrose and got caught by a security guard. Classic.

I lost my cherry in the back of a Sainsbury's and it was the best decision I ever made.

Earland is a tiny, three-foot-tall man who loves to play with monkey balls in a weird, awkward way and says 'scot' like it's a secret code.

He squeezed monkey testicles like they were going out of style and said 'scot' like he was a genius.

Earland is three feet tall, has a tiny willy, and says 'scot' like it's the best word in the world.

He's a weird little man who thinks monkey balls are the best thing ever and says 'scot' like it's magic.