Ear wanking

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7 views · Added 17d ago · 4 definitions

1
Ear wanking is when you shove your finger up your ear and jerk it around like you're trying to pull out the ear wax and your brain. It feels so good it’s like getting a gold star from the universe, but for your ears instead of your math test.
My brother was ear wanking so hard he forgot to zip up his pants. His mom walked in and was like, 'What is that?'
I ear wanked during math class and got caught. The teacher said, 'You’re not even listening to me, you’re listening to yourself.'
My dog started ear wanking and got ear wax everywhere. He looked like a mess, and I couldn’t stop laughing.
2
Wanking ears means your hearing goes bonkers when you’re getting off. You can hear your neighbor’s cat walking on the ceiling like it’s a marching band, and you’re ready to run or hide before they catch you red-handed.
My wanking ears told me my sister was coming in my room. I closed my laptop and zipped up my pants just in time.
I heard my brother’s wanking ears go off like a siren. He was so loud I had to leave the room.
I got caught because my wanking ears were too loud. I was like, 'I could’ve been quieter!'
3
When a kid is wanking ears, they’re so focused on not getting caught they can hear the smallest noise, like the fridge humming or their little brother’s sneaker squeaking. It’s like they’re on high alert, waiting for their doom.
I was wanking ears so hard I heard my little brother’s sneaker squeak from the other side of the house.
My friend was wanking ears and got caught because he heard the door creak. He was so embarrassed.
I was wanking ears and heard my mom’s footsteps in the hallway. I had to zip up my pants before she came in.
4
Ear wanking with a cotton bud is like sticking a stick up your ear and poking it around like you’re trying to dig out the ear wax. It’s messy, it’s loud, and it’s definitely not something you do in front of your mom.
I used a cotton bud to ear wank and got ear wax all over my bed. My mom was so mad she took my phone away.
My little brother ear wanked with a cotton bud and spilled ear wax on the floor. He got in trouble.
I ear wanked with a cotton bud and my ear was so full of wax I couldn’t hear anything for a week.
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