Ear Condom
An ear condom is a fancy way to say ‘I don’t want to listen to your stupid opinions.’ You wear it like a cape, and it makes you feel like a superhero.
My friend kept telling me I was the worst at drawing, so I put on my ear condom and said, ‘I’m a superhero now.’
At lunch, my teacher started telling me about her cat, and I put on my ear condom and said, ‘I’m not listening.’
My brother started telling me I was the worst at video games, and I put on my ear condom and told him to shut up.