ear brassiere
A magical band for people who live in the north and hate life. You wear it when the cold is so bad it feels like your ears are being boiled in ice water.
I looked like a raccoon with frostbite today. Thanks, ear brassiere.
I wore it so my ears wouldn't fall off and become a new species of animal.
My ears were so numb I thought I had lost my hearing and my sanity.