Eagon
A Eagon is a drunk who shows up to everything and doesn’t care if you hate them. They talk too much, they don’t know when to stop, and they never leave until they’re knocked out.
The Eagon showed up to the baby shower and said, ‘This baby is gonna be the next president. I’m gonna be the next mayor.’ He got kicked out.
At the funeral, the Eagon cried, ‘Grandma’s dead, but she’s better than my life.’ He didn’t know he was talking to his ex.
I called the Eagon to say I was going to sleep. He said, ‘You’re gonna die alone again?’ I did.