E-mate
A human who’s so scared of talking to people that they only respond through devices. They act like you’re sending them a death threat if you text them.
You: 'Hey, are you coming to the party?' Them: 'I’ll tell you when I get there. Don’t make me talk to you right now.'
I got a text that said 'I’m still alive' instead of actually answering my call.
I had to send 12 texts just to get a 'maybe' for dinner.