e-dopt
You meet someone online and you think they're so good you just steal them, like they're your new sidekick and you're gonna make them do your homework.
I e-dopted this guy because he said my dog looked like a f***ing potato.
I e-dopted my friend because he called me the f***ing dumbest person ever.
I e-dopted my teacher because he said I was the best at math.