e-dopt - You meet someone online and you get so mad that you claim th

You meet someone online and you get so mad that you claim them as your own, like they owe you money and you're gonna be their boss forever.

I e-dopted this girl because she said my dog looked like a f***ing potato.

I e-dopted my cousin because he said I was the worst at video games.

I e-dopted my teacher because he called my essay a f***ing disaster.