D.P., Dirty Pagan
They think they’re a holy man, but they’re just a guy who smells like a gym sock and wears a cheap sword. They hit on everyone and claim to be a god or a priest, even if they’re not.
Text: 'I’m the priest of the god of love. Also, I take two showers a week.'
DM: 'Just saved a 15-year-old from a demon. Also, I took a nap.'
Tweet: 'Flirted with my barista. She now thinks I’m a god.'