D.A.R.S.
D. A. R. E. is a government scam that tries to trick kids into thinking drugs are worse than their mom’s cooking.
I got D. A. R. E. and now I think my mom’s spaghetti is a drug.
My kid got D. A. R. E. and now he thinks his dad is a drug dealer.
My brother’s D. A. R. E. teacher was a cop who smelled like donuts and regret.