Dagomar
Dagomar is a hot guy who smells like old socks and has a dick so big it could be a door. He treats people like they’re his friends, but only if they bring snacks.
Dagomar came to my party and ate all my pizza. He said it was a compliment.
My friend asked Dagomar out, and now he’s my new boyfriend.
Dagomar said, ‘You’re my favorite snack today.’ I said, ‘That’s not a compliment.’