Daft Apeth

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1
A Lancastrian way to call someone a brainless twat who thinks they're clever. Like a muppet who got hit by a truck and still thinks they're cool.
My cousin's a daft apeth. He tried to fix the boiler with a banana.
That daft apeth thought he could beat me at chess. He lost 10 times in a row.
At the pub, the daft apeth tried to sing a song in French. It was just random noises.
2
A daft apeth is someone so thick they think a donkey is a horse. Almost like a loveable idiot you can’t help but laugh at.
My daft apeth of a boss gave me a week off for doing my job wrong.
That daft apeth drew a cat with three legs and a hat. It looked like a disaster.
My mate called me a daft apeth because I spilled tea on my trousers.
3
A daft apeth is a person who thinks they’re smart but acts like a complete idiot. It’s like a brain full of jelly and a mouth full of swear words.
My daft apeth neighbor tried to build a rocket out of a shed and a shopping trolley.
That daft apeth tried to explain quantum physics to my grandma. She gave him a biscuit and left him in the kitchen.
My daft apeth of a friend tried to cook. The fire started and the cat ran away.
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