Daeros

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To be a Daeros is to mess up everything. Even things that shouldn’t be messed up.

I tried to cook eggs. Now my house smells like a dead raccoon.

I tried to text my crush. I sent a picture of my cat wearing a hat. And it was a hat made of socks.

I tried to be cool. Now I’m just the guy who forgot his own name.

A Daeros is someone who makes life look like a game they’re losing badly.

I tried to be a good friend. Now I’m the one who forgot the party and showed up with a pizza that was already cold.

I tried to do my homework. I wrote my name in crayon. And it was pink.

I tried to be rich. Now I’m broke and my dog eats my money.

Being a Daeros is like being the last person picked for a team. Everyone else gets a chance. You get leftovers.

I tried to be a rockstar. Now I’m just the guy who sings in the shower and nobody hears me.

I tried to be a superhero. Now I’m the guy who tripped over his own feet and fell into a cake.

I tried to be smart. Now I’m the one who thinks Tuesday is a day of the week and also a type of sandwich.

A Daeros is someone who makes the best of bad situations. Then fails at that too.

I tried to be funny. Now I’m the guy who told a joke and no one laughed. Not even my dog.

I tried to be cool. Now I’m wearing a hat made of socks and I don’t even know why.

I tried to be a genius. Now I’m just the guy who thinks 2 + 2 is 5 and nobody tells me.

To be a Daeros is to be the person who everyone else thinks is the worst. And they’re right.

I tried to be a boss. Now I’m the guy who yelled at the printer and it still didn’t work.

I tried to be a king. Now I’m just the guy who wore a crown and tripped over a chair.

I tried to be a legend. Now I’m the guy who forgot his own legend.