dad's old fashioned root beer - the only root beer your dad drinks because it tastes like ol

the only root beer your dad drinks because it tastes like old socks and it doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night

I tried dad’s old fashioned root beer. It tastes like he drank it after doing 100 push-ups in a sauna.

My dad says this root beer is the only one that doesn’t make him pee in 30 seconds.

I drank dad’s old fashioned root beer and now I smell like a wet dog that’s been in a trash can.