Dadimagedon
A dad who's basically a monster in disguise. He lets you live your life, but if you make one wrong move, he'll devour you like it's the end of the world.
He texted me: 'You broke up with your boyfriend? I'm coming over to eat you.'
He called me during lunch: 'You're dating a guy who doesn't like pizza? I'm eating you at dinner.'
He sent a tweet: 'My daughter made a mistake. I'm eating her. #Dadimagedon'