daddy time

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When a guy pries his own meat apart like a greedy kid with a bag of candy.

Dad: 'I need some daddy time before I have to pick up my kid's vomit.'

Bro: 'I’m gonna go do my daddy time in the broom closet.'

Mom: 'If he doesn’t stop doing his daddy time, I’m gonna make him eat the dog's breakfast.'

A fancy word for getting your rocks off.

'I had to leave the meeting for some daddy time.'

'He said he was going to the store, but I know he was just going for daddy time.'

'I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m just doing my daddy time.'

When parents sneak off to do butt stuff while the kids are still screaming in the background.

'Mom and Dad went into the garage for their daddy time.'

'He screamed, 'Play time is over!' when he finally couldn’t take it anymore.'

'She brought a carrot, a tomato, and a pickle for daddy time.'

When two people get their jollies by doing the horizontal shuffle.

'They got caught doing daddy time in the hallway.'

'I saw them doing daddy time through the keyhole.'

'He said it was just a little daddy time, but I know it was three hours.'