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A first-time dad who thinks changing a diaper is just a fancy way of saying 'clean my kid's butt,' and has no idea what 'sleep training' even means. He’s basically a baby whisperer who only knows how to scream.
I tried to burp my kid and it turned into a wrestling match. I’m a daddy noob, baby.
I took my kid to the park and forgot how to walk. That’s what happens when you’re a daddy noob.
I tried to read a bedtime story and it became a dramatic monologue. I’m not a daddy noob, I’m a tragic noob.