My dad tried to high-five me and said, 'Hey, buddy.' I said, 'You're not my dad.' He said, 'I am now.' I said, 'You're still not my dad.'

My stepdad came into my room and said, 'Hey, kid. Want to go eat?' I said, 'You're not my dad.' He said, 'I am now.' I said, 'You're still not my dad.'

My fake dad tried to give me a piggyback ride. I said, 'You're not my dad.' He said, 'I am now.' I said, 'You're still not my dad.'