Dadcompressing

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3 views · Added 15d ago · 3 definitions

When a dad sits in their car like a grumpy gargoyle for 5 minutes before finally shuffling into the house like they're escaping a fire.

I sat in my car for so long I could’ve started a car wash.

I was in my car so long my kids thought I was kidnapped.

I was in my car so long my dog came to check on me.

When a dad takes a 5-minute break from the world just to avoid walking into the house like it's a war zone.

I took a 5-minute break from my life because my house is worse than my job.

I sat there like I was waiting for the apocalypse.

I took a break like I had to negotiate with my wife first.

When a dad decides their car is the only place worth being in after a long day of being a human doorknob.

I was in my car because my house is full of people who think I'm a robot.

I sat in my car like I was hiding from my own kids.

I was in my car like it was my personal escape pod.