Dadaholic

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#overprotective#obnoxious#salad-obsessed

5 views · Added 15d ago · 5 definitions

1
A dad who's obsessed with his kids and wife. He'd rather die than let his kids eat a burger instead of a salad.
My dad showed up at my soccer game wearing a salad vest. I didn't eat the burger. I cried.
He texted me during my exam: 'Don't forget to brush your teeth. I'm watching you.'
He drove 2 hours just to bring me a smoothie. I got a B. He got a heart attack.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
2
A dad who thinks he's the best parent ever. He'll argue with the school, the kids, the wife, and the mailman just to prove it.
He yelled at the math teacher for giving me a hard problem. 'That’s not fair!' He said.
He got into a fight with my brother over who was the best at video games. It ended with a punch.
He called my mom 'a lazy cow' because she forgot to make his coffee.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
3
A dad who's always there. He shows up to everything, even if it's just to sit in the back and sigh.
He showed up to my science fair wearing his old work boots and a shirt that said 'I survived 2018.'
He came to my concert and fell asleep during the first song. I felt bad. He felt proud.
He drove 30 minutes just to see me fail my driving test. He took a nap during the ride home.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
4
A dad who thinks he's a rockstar. He plays the guitar, sings in the shower, and still thinks he's young.
He tried to sing me to sleep. I woke up. He was still singing.
He told me he was going to be on a tour. I asked where. He said 'Somewhere near the bathroom.'
He tried to play the guitar during my math test. I failed. He passed.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
5
A dad who's got the kids, the wife, and the dog. He's got no life, but he's happy.
He told me he had no friends. I said, 'You have a dog. You have a wife. You have kids.' He said, 'That's enough.'
He came home from work, gave me a hug, and went to bed. That's his life.
He said he was going to take a vacation. I asked where. He said 'Somewhere where I don’t have to be a dad.' I said, 'That’s not a vacation. That’s a crime.'
by Slangipedia 15d ago
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